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I have often portrayed myself as a tough, crusty and even mean person. I thought it would protect me. I was very successful in my endeavours. I was able to hide behind this facade and live in seclusion. However, I could not protect myself from life. It has a way of happening without my input. In hiding from the dangers, I was sheltered from the wonders of love & life. I was self imprisoned because of my prejudices and fears. It is proving to be a long struggle to overcome the vast mountainous lies I told myself. It is frightening to trust and to have faith. I am like a little boy hiding in a closet, crouched in the corner, shaking and crying. I want so desperately to be loved and to be held but I am so scared of being hurt again. It is very hard to let go of the old familiar ways because there is a strange sense of comfort in the pain.
I hope by sharing these words & poems, it will draw me out and tell you something about me. I pray you will enjoy them as I do and you to can begin to let someone see a little bit of the real you in all of your humanness.